A Farewell to Place d'Armes

I thought it would be nice to end our time in Montreal with a post about

Things you might not know about Montreal

• 
• Montreal is an island city.
  
• Americans captured Montreal in 1775 during the American Revolutionary War.
• Montreal was the capital of Canada during the years 1844-9.
• Montreal was primarily Anglophone during the middle of the 19th century (reflected on the Montreal flag, bearing the fleur de lys, of the Royal House of Bourbon, representing the French, a Lancastrian rose, representing the English, a shamrock, representing the Irish, and a thistle, representing the Scottish).
• Montreal was Canada's largest city from 1860 until sometime in the second half of the 20th century.
• During prohibition in the States, Montreal was a haven for drinking, gambling and prostitution.
  
• 
• Montreal hosted th 1967 World Expo.
• In 1967 Charles De Gaulle pissed off the Canadian government by shouting pro-Quebec sovereignty movement stuff from atop Montreal's town hall. This marked the beginning of a large exodus of Anglophones to Toronto from Montreal.
  
• Montreal hosted the 1976 Olympic games, at which 28 African nations boycotted because New Zealand attended and was still playing rugby with apartheid South Africa.
• Montreal payed off its 1976 Olympic Stadium in December 2006 (Despite initial projections in 1970 that the stadium would cost only C$134 million to construct, strikes and construction delays served to escalate these costs. By the time the stadium opened, in an unfinished form, the total costs had risen to C$264 million).
• Montreal was named after the Island of Montreal, which in turn was named after Mount Royal.
• William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, and Celine Dion are all Montreal natives.
  

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Autumn almanac

The view from our balcony.





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Go Habs Go!

We're leaving Montreal in November, so we thought a great way to bid the city farewell would be to attend a sermon at the Church of Bell, enjoying Canada's national religion-ice hockey. I don't know if its the price of merchandise, but here you see many more ice hockey team t-shirt, jacket and hats per person than rugby in New Zealand. They are devout here.

Violence in ice hockey and enforcers
I find the violence in ice hockey intriguing. The Canadians are such a friendly and peaceful bunch (especially compared to some neighbours), but by my understanding, the discussion on eliminating fighting in hockey to bring the sport into the modern age, is mostly dismissed. "Fighting is an established tradition of ice hockey in North America, with a long history in both amateur and professional play." I think I like this, both because it feels ridiculous, and as fights only happen when two people consent to it ("enforcers"), why not.

Enforcers explained: Imagine, for arguments sake, the first game of hockey. Some players are better than others, thus pose a bigger threat to the other team. As a response, in the next game, each team assigns one player the job to take out the other teams leading player. In the following game, each team assigns another player to defend against the players trying to target their lead player. From my understanding, this is kind of the evolution/justification for existence of the enforcers (a kind of escalating arms race). The ultimate result is mostly safe star players, and constant fighting between enforcers (who are kind of playing two games at once). Brilliant.

The Habs
Montreal's hockey team (or sect of the religion) are the "Canadiens". Their nickname is Les Habitants or the Habitants (of Montreal). For a while I thought both their name, and nickname, were embarrassingly unimaginative. But then I read this (from Wikipedia, bold mine):

They have won more Stanley Cups (24, the first in 1916, before the NHL existed) than any other NHL team.^[1] On a percentage basis, as of 2006, this makes them the third most historically successful major pro sports team in North America, having won 25% of all NHL/NHA Stanley Cup championships. Only the Boston Celtics of the NBA (26.2%) and the New York Yankees of Major League Baseball (25.2%) have higher success rates.

If you're that successful, you can call yourself what ever you like. My feelings are now that their names are awesomely unimaginative (although, they haven't actually won since 92-93, and up until the game, I hadn't heard many good things said about them on sports shows).

Because they heard we were coming, the Habs pulled out all the stops. While no big fights unfolded, they hammered the Boston Bruins 6-1.

Carts and coasters

On the weekend, we treated ourselves to a horse-drawn carriage ride through Old Montreal with cousin Jen (the Road Warrior) and Josh. It was both beautiful and freezing. The weather is really starting to turn (which works out fine for us, as we have booked tickets back for mid-November). Old Montreal is one of the oldest urban areas in North America, consisting of buildings going back to the 1600s, complete with cobblestone streets.

It is one of those lucky instances of a developing CBD growing up next to the existing CBD as opposed to on top of it. That is a idiosyncratic thing about Montreal, the eclectic mixture of good architecture (versus Wellington being a mixture of mostly ugly architecture).

We followed on Sunday with La Ronde, which is a theme park on an island in the middle of the Saint Lawrence. Along with a lot of the nifty modern architecture in the city, the site of La Ronde was developed for Expo' 67.























For as long as can remember, I've thought I liked roller coasters. I think I thought everyone likes roller coasters and only weird people don't. I was sure, even though Alana was a little hesitant, both of us would love going on the roller coasters (La Ronde is home to Goliath, the tallest roller coaster in Canada, up until May 2008. The bigger the better, right?).



As it turns out, I have a weak stomach, and Alana dislikes feeling close to death. Goliath was good but the other ones that barrel roll you and spin you upside-down we could have definitely lived without. We were also under dressed for what was a very cold autumn day, so our enthusiasm was quickly depleted.

Life lesson: roller coasters=overrated. In saying that, had you told me this before I went, I would have called you a liar.

Canals, bowling balls, and giant birds

Get a comfy chair; I'm gonna hit you with some history, so this post is long.

It was Thanksgiving on the 8th of October, which we spent with family in Hamilton. We left early to spend a week with my grandparents in Ottawa. Despite us having 60 years on them, they out-lasted us everyday. They showed us the beautiful countryside surrounding Ottawa. Bobba was in the navy for more than 30 years, thus special attention was payed to the rivers, canals, locks and mills (if you look at the entry for Merrickville on Wikipedia, take particular notice of the photo and info box to the right. This is Alana handiwork).

The War of 1812, canals and the Fenian raids
New Zealand readers may be surprised to find out, in 1812, the USA tried to invade Canada. I know I couldn't believe it; I've always considered the Americans such a peace loving society. This was 30 or so years after the War of Independence, so you can imagine a mixture of a young nation trying to prove itself and expand, residual resentment towards the British, the British being occupied with the Napoleonic Wars, and a whole lot of guns is the perfect combination for a good war.

Apparently both Americans and the British assumed Canadians would sympathise with the Americans' cause. They were both wrong. The Canadians bought guns from Americans to fight, for the British, against the Americans(?). The Americans also tried their hand at challenging the most powerful Navy in the world, thus there were naval battles on the Great Lakes.

For this reason, after the war, the Grenville, Chute-à-Blondeau, Carillon, and Rideau canals were all built. This made it possible for a boat to enter the St. Lawrence from the Atlantic and easily get all the way to Lake Ontario. Later other canal systems were added, collectively constituting the Saint Lawrence Seaway (so eventually you could take a boat from the Atlantic, via Quebec City, Montreal, Ottawa, and Toronto, Lake Huron, all the way to Lake Superior, then using some others, back past Niagara Falls, Lake Eerie and the Hudson River, all the way to New York). I absolutely love locks and canals (or maybe the thinking behind them); they are like geographic-reconstructive surgery, a way of telling the Creator "...okay, what you've done here is okay, but it wasn't exactly what we were looking for". Pure 18th/19th century pomp. The best part is the were all redundant soon after with the expansion of railroads.

Then it gets crazy weird - the Fenian Brotherhood. The Fenian Brotherhood were Irish-Americans who were trying to help their motherland of Ireland gain independence from the British. They came up with a brilliantly simple plan. I have recreated its conception for your convenience (it is like an episode of Pinky and the Brain).

Hennessy: I passionately love Mother Ireland.
O'Reilly: Aye, I too passionately love Mother Ireland.
Hennessy: Damn the British for not giving her independence.
O'Reilly: Aye, damn the British.
Hennessy: If only there were some way we could screw the British and grant Ireland her rightful independence.
O'Reilly: But here in North America, we live so far away from both Ireland and the British.
Hennessy: No, no, O'Reilly, I've got it:

We take over Canada and trade it with the British for Ireland's independence.

O'Reilly: ?
Hennessy: !
O'Reilly: Brilliant.

Between 1866-71, the Fenian Brotherhood made numerous raids on Canada. They called themselves the Irish Republican Army or IRA, which is first recorded usage of the name.

Navigating by bowling ball
After WWII, by a mixture of wartime expansion and the defeat of the Axis, Canada ended up with the third largest navy in the world. Bobba entered the navy with a degree in electrical engineering. After the war, he was charged with developing a new system for coordinating fleets and fighting submarines and aircraft, DATAR. This was right at the birth of computers, so essentially every aspect had to be invented. Among the many innovations, they developed one of the first graphical-user interfaces using, I think, the first trackball (or upside-down mouse) as an input. This predated the patent put on the first mouse at Stanford by more than 10 years. The DATAR system was eventually tested by, you guessed it, a simulated naval battle in Lake Ontario.

Filthy savages
Just like Christmas, it seems like the general populous aren't too worried about what Thanksgiving used to mean. It is simply a family day for eating (except obviously in Quebec, where they're not even sure what's going on). This suited us fine, we got to spend some quality time with family in Hamilton and Toronto, went to the Rockton World's Fair (complete with pony rides, merry-go-rounds and lifestock competitions) , watched some ice hockey, and ate a whole lot of root ("rut") vegetables and giant bird. The only filthy savages around were Alana and I.

The Road Warrior

Late in September we were lucky enough to tag along with my cousin Jen, and her husband Josh on pilgrimage from Ottawa to Niagara Falls. An auntie had warned me that it was too much driving for one weekend; she overlooked one fact. Jen is genetically one quarter road warrior.

We pretty much sleep-walked to the car early Friday morning and woke up ready for an early lunch in Toronto. In Toronto we went to the top of the world's second tallest free-standing structure:





On from Toronto we headed down to Grimsby and Niagara. When I went to the falls 10 years ago, I remember it being nice; this time around we went at night time which accentuated the change that has happened in the town. It is like Canada's Vegas. The falls glow in the dark with the neon reflections of casinos:



We hit the casino and I walked away 50 cents. As a bit of oneupmanship Josh pocketed close to $300, but that was cool, I knew he was just showing off.

We got to enjoy some wineries the next day:

But we must be getting old as we bought more wine than we tested. At the end of all of this Jen drove us all the way back to Montreal via Ottawa again to catch up with Dad's side of the family (watch this space for a photo).

Lunchables

Poutine:


Poutine: chips with gravy and cheese curds!!

Smoked meat sandwich:

Smoked meat sandwich is self-explanatory. What the photo doesn't show is that they cram a whole cow into each sandwich and it is the most succulent and juicy meat you'll ever eat. You know those mythical cows you hear about that are only fed beer and spend their days being massaged by virgins? I heard that's the kind of cow they use. Only they feed it smoke.

Montreal is famous for its smoked meat -- the most famous place to get it is Schwartz's, where they use the same smoker they used back in the 20s. There's always a queue outside and once you're in they try to get you out as soon as possible. Apparently this is all part of it's charm.

Innherently lazy noise filters

I've been working my new job for about a month now and it turns out "prospecting" is just a synonym for telemarketing. This is not all bad news though. The company I work for is young and small, as far as companies go, and everyone seems to be under 30. This makes for a nice environment, even if the work is not Christmas.

My job concists of tracking down phone numbers of people who have ugly or old websites, working out who is in charge of the website, calling them, convincing them try a demo of our cheaper better system (I make my job easier by only calling people if I genuinly think we can makes their lives better). So I don't actually sell anything myself per se.

It is amazing how hard it is to give away free websites.

As you can probably guess, people are numb to strangers on the phone. To them, I am the equivalent of a billboard on the side of the road that they glance at and quickly ignore, except I'm talking to them, so they have to work out how to hang up on me as quickly as possible. This is exactly why humans do so well; we are noise filtering machines, we don't have energy to pay attention to everything. Most stuff we run into is irrelevant to us. Also, most of us are inherently lazy, and subconsciously run on the knowledge that avoiding new things seldom leads to trouble. I counter these obstacles by cunningly only asking "how" questions (you can't give a one word answer to a "how" question). Also, I find out there name, and use it a lot like we're old friends. Also I get their email address before I propose anything. My boss says "you'd only give your email to someone if they were your friend". Once we have established the friendship, I let them know I'm going to do a favour in the form of setting up a free website for them. I make 6 friends each day, who I never speak to again.

It turns out people from the auto industry are generally the friendliest to talk to. People who own pet stores are generally the rudest and the most hostile to "them internets".

It has taken me about 3 weeks to stop taking no for an answer. I was so timid and took everything so personally at the start, but lately it feels more like a game.

Squirrel-fish fishin'

Hook, line and sinker? More like peanut, shoelace and awesome.

ZOMG new apartment!

The first week in our new apartment has been great. We had previously spent the longest 2 weeks of our lives living in le ghetto, in a Mexican family’s basement. We never really met Jose, our "landlord", but he reassuringly let us know he was home by stomping around his house from 3-5am every morning. The place was in the suburbs of the suburbs, and it took an hour to get to town. We didn’t take any photos there but here’s an artist’s impression:
















Now we’re in our real apartment and it’s pretty sweet. Mostly because of the amazing view of Montreal from our balcony. We’re on the 25th floor of a huge apartment building beside Parc Lafontaine:

























From the outside, the apartment building is not much to blog home about, in fact it's pretty ugly:
















But it has a gym:

and a swimming pool:

and saunas:


Parc La Fontaine is one of the nicest places in town. In winter the lake freezes over and people go ice skating. We can watch tennis, football and baseball games from our balcony, and go squirrel-fish fishing (you'll see).

We are good. Matt is still prospecting. I got a similar job but it turned out it would take at least a month and a half to process my work permit. So now I'm going to have to find a job where a work permit is not essential.

Montreal is a wicked city, there's always some festival or something exciting or weird going on. Our current hobby is going to watch our 10-year-old friend, Thomas, fight in medieval battles in a park alongside a horde of hippy drummers and tightrope walkers.

Gotta have a montage

This is one of the reasons we haven't posted for a while, have been making this movie. The music is ELO, which is why it is disco sweet.

Too much of a good thing/Be careful what you wish for

So I managed to get a job a couple of weeks ago. Testing video games no less.

I had been writing a post about how awesome my job is and had even made a picture.

My toolbox:



But it's funny what a difference a few days make. I would not have be able to comprehend how playing video games could be so torturous if someone had told me, so I suspect others may struggle with this: it sucks. Well some days, and then occasionally it is like "I can't believe they're paying me to do this".

The downsides to the job:

• they make you play the same game for weeks on end, 9am-5pm
• the games are not finished so are not very good and crash all the time
• the supervisors (or my one at least) act like the comic book guy from the Simpsons, if he were competing on the Apprentice
• I am not allowed to discuss any of the games outside of work
• They exercise collective punishment: they stopped email (?) at work for several hundred people "until further notice" because some guy looked at porn
• the pay is very low
• I am nothing more than a pair of thumbs who can use a spreadsheet to them
• the chairs (no couches) are awful
• it is of little value on my CV
  

The job was way better in my imagination.

===============
I have spent so many days writing this post, that I have now organised a new job to start on Monday. The position is "lead prospector" at a website firm. Hopefully my imagination hasn't ruined this one for me too.